it’s been an interesting year — small changes add up to significant “losses” over the course of the year
Mobility and speech are the biggest ones..

Mom, we’re grateful to be your caregivers. Thank you for being a part of our family.  We anticipate more changes in 2019 – and look forward with joy to every moment we have with you.

You have always been an example of love, generosity and kindness.  Your sweet demeanor is a reminder of how incredibly blessed we are every day.  Smiles and genuine thank you’s from the moment you get up until you go to bed.

Delight in the sunshine on a snowy day, joy in seeing a photo from long ago or visiting with a family member whose name escapes you…

Attending a family gathering and sharing loudly, “I know him, that’s my son!”  Bringing the room to tears as they feel that to their very core and maybe even a bit of envy that it wasn’t a statement directed to them… but joy nonetheless to know she still knows him.

Big feelings are now a common thing for you, Mom.  You’re not exactly sure why at times, but they are big.  I’m grateful you don’t feel the need to hide them — or hide behind them.  Tears are welcome… I just wish you could recall the reason for them.  I can guess who you are missing or that the occasion brings fleeting glimpses of memories of times past.  Maybe it’s even a little bit of letting go of the fear of what’s to come.  We’ve had the “talk” a couple of times when you’ve brought the conversation to that point.  Grateful for being able to share that conversation with you and hope that your fears are lessened a bit.

Conversations at night with others we cannot see on the monitor.  The lady who sits in the chair watching over you.  The doorbells announcing guests and you rise from bed hoping to greet them with your lovely smile.  The relief you feel when you find you don’t have to get up “just yet” and can rest a little longer before you have to begin your day.

Oh Mom, we’ll treasure these moments forever.  Thank you for sharing the past 3 years of this journey with us.  We are truly blessed and honored to be on this pathway with you.

 

 

 

I love this image… it’s one of my favorite sunsets.  Regardless of what the day has held, I look forward to seeing the colors in the sky each evening.  They remind me of the “gifts” we’ve been blessed with that day.

We’ve awakened, our eyes have seen the sunrise and now the sunset.  We’ve enjoyed each other’s company.  Shared a laugh, a smile and maybe even albeit, too short, lucid conversations or moment of clarity where there may have been none only a moment previously.

Care-giving can be tough.. but there are multiple joys as well if we choose to look, see and delight in them.

My challenge for you, dear readers, is to make the moments count today and at the end of the day, reflect on one of the many “gifts” you’ve experienced throughout the day.  Let it lift your spirits and prepare you for more beauty in the days to come.

As always, every day brings something new our way in this journey with Alzheimer’s.  As easy it might be to fall in the woo is me trap, we find joy in every day we have with Mom despite the “junk” that sometimes creeps up on us.

The leaves have begun to change into brilliant shades of gold, yellow, orange and red.  The mountains are boasting their first dusting of snow on the peaks and it was such a beautiful sight to behold. The colors begin to fade — just as memories continue to fade even more with Mom.

Late night conversations, bursts of energy to cook, answer the door, find something that might be lost have been our latest challenges… Grateful she still wants to do something, even if it’s 2 am or another 0’dark thirty time.  Smiles and eyes that twinkle are still an everyday thing.  Laughter, tapping to music, favorite foods and a root beer shake are highlights of our week.  Speech is becoming less frequent and garbled at times, but there are still those moments that Mom brings us to our knees with a zinger!  LOVE IT!

it never ceases to amaze me when we “catch” that moment of lucidity, share a laugh, cry a little or hug, or stumble upon an idea that changes the course of things….  (https://greatitudes.com/2018/06/24/a-month-of-changes/)

This week we had a routine visit with Mom’s primary care physician.  He seemed genuinely thrilled with Mom’s current state of health and was even more impressed to notice that her hair was growing back in  (Yes, that’s a big deal!) and that there were no open wounds from “picking.”  We talked about the change in medication of one of her prescriptions and how that change in dosage was making a difference in the intensity of the headaches but more importantly the “deep itching” on her scalp and sometimes other places on her body.

It’s taken a couple of months to get to this point of 20 minutes or so of  “not-picking”, but it’s so been worth it.  We are grateful to the medical professionals who were willing to listen and let us advocate and try something a little different to see if it made a difference for Mom and hopefully, it might make a difference for another patient in their care experiencing the same issues.

Today, we’ll not take for granted one single moment.  We’ll treasure each one and the joy they can bring.