2020 took a definite turn for crazy in March.  What was the norm was no longer the norm in the outside world, but magically we had already sort of been prepared for that, and while things in the community, state, country and world were tossed into turmoil… life inside the walls of our home stayed the course and mostly to our normal routine.  I guess you could say we’ve been practicing “self-isolating” of some fashion for the last 5 years!  So it wasn’t all that out of the “normal” for Mom or me.

Mom, of course, doesn’t really remember the day to day stuff with COVID-19. She has missed the regular weekly visits from family members the last 3 months, though.  Her 88th birthday  and Mother’s Day came and passed without the celebration and hoopla that usually comes with a gathering of any size.  However, we were able to use technology to get most of the clan together for a brief celebratory call on Zoom and grab a screenshot or two. She was thrilled and loved hearing everyone sing Happy Birthday to her.

She’s also getting a little sassy this year.  There have been a few changes in the last few months that indicate some additional losses in cognitive behavior — she still enjoys her music and loves keeping time to the rhythms and movements she sees in the audiences as she views the videos.  We’ve noticed that much of the head-picking ceases when she is watching and listening.  We’ll keep playing those DVDs.

Lesson learned from our experience with COVID-19 will definitely have some impact now and in the future on how we interact with those outside the walls of our home, however, we have been blessed with our basic needs being met.  A caring community of family, friends and health professionals.  We are grateful for every one of these individuals and the roles they play and the support they offer in our behalf when needed.

But not without a few bumps (large and small) along the way.  Decline is inevitable, but to have to watch it happen day by day is heartbreaking for all of us.

We’ve experienced highs and lows in the last couple of months and the cognitive changes are more prevalent than previously.

Eating is becoming a process… lots of cueing and reminding to pick up a fork or spoon or to place in a hand.  Smaller portions and more often than not, a Grilled Cheese sandwich is the fare of choice when she turns away other foods that have been prepared for her.

On the lighter side, she still has a sense of sheer joy at times that completely catches us off-guard.  She’s adamant about not “dancing” to the music on her feet; answering our request  to dance with a resounding and firm “NO.”  But we’ll catch her “conducting” the orchestra, tapping her feet or trying to snap and clap to the music that “turns the lights back on.”

We catch her with a smile that lights up her face as she finds the words to the songs and joins in a chorus or two.

Hoping to catch and record that in the next few days before her voice is gone all together.  Maybe today will be our lucky day to catch her singing.

Grateful for the moments…

There have been so many moments this past week that have reminded us to find Joy.  See the joy and live the joy, regardless of the circumstances.  Thankfully, we were able to find some in nearly every instance and happening.  While “change” was definitely a huge part of our week,  maintaining the routine for Mom’s sake proved a bit challenging at times.  However, even with things being a bit up in the air and the routine slightly out of sync for a few days, we all managed well and thankfully, at the end of each day, the smiles, thank you’s and I love you’s continued to fill the air.

There’s generally a smile — as the day begins and again as the day ends. Some days the smiles are bigger and her face and eyes light up with such a sweet and delightful energy.  But those days are becoming fewer and definitely farther apart.  Alzheimer’s is taking that away too.  She slips a little further into the forest every month.  It’s hard to gauge how far sometimes as there are flickers of lucidity… moments of being “all present” that bless us with an all too brief glimpse at the Mom we all know and love — and will continue to love.

Mom, your light continues to “glow” albeit a bit dimmer as your Alzheimer’s   progresses.  We reflect on moments, experiences, your growing up years and friendships past and present.  There are days your smiles are much broader as the memories flood and bring joy to your heart.

You gave us perfect examples of:

• Family first.
• Service.
• Work Ethic.
• Education.
• Art.
• Play.

These were and are all important components in our lives.  You set a wonderful example for us – and we are truly blessed to call you Mother.  Thanks for being our light for all these years and guiding our paths… your gentleness, sweet smiles, thoughtfulness never cease to amaze me even on the darkest of days when your light seems to go a little dimmer.

You were meant to be a “light.” A guide for others to learn to light their way
and share with others along their path.