caregiver

be your best you!

3 Positives:
T’s procedure was a success
time in the studio – all but 2 cards finished
we tasted our first watermelon of the season yesterday (YUM) and put 2 1-gallon bags of sliced strawberries into the freezer for smoothies.

Our Journey Notes:
T’s eye pressures are now in the acceptable range – hoping they’ll stay that way after the yesterday’s needle flap lift. Ted said this eye wasn’t as easy as the right. His eye hurt a little after the numbing meds wore off. Now to focus on the cataract in the right eye.

I got him to switch audio book services yesterday – he’s now listening to a new book. I put his other service on pause for 90 days to see which he likes better. He still has access to the other books until he can download them from the new service. Glad they carry that author as well as a couple more of his favorites and it’s a little cheaper and he can download several books a month without any additional expense.


Some things just evade me… the memory is gone unless reminded, but even then, I still don’t remember the time or day of the happening often. It’s definitely happening more frequently. Thankful for friends and family who let it pass after a correction. Another thing to add to the list for the neuro. As Mom used to say, “getting old isn’t for sissies.” I have creaks and pops where I didn’t have them before. The knees don’t like the stairs, especially in the morning or late evenings. The pain across the middle of my back is here to stay it seems and those tingles down the legs when I put my head a certain way… still there.

be kind to yourself

3 Positives:
chose another book to read
assembled the wreath, it could use a little more greenery
got an appointment with the PCP for next week

Our Journey Notes:
I have an early in the morning appointment with my pcp next week. Long list to discuss.

T has his next flap lift procedure tomorrow afternoon. He’s taken the full day off from work and has plans to get a few more things checked off his “prepping for an earlier than planned retirement” list before and after the procedure. We’ll see how things go on the after list — I have a feeling he might want to take a long rest — he’ll be fully awake for this one, just the eye numbed and for a short time. Hoping it goes as planned and while his vision won’t improve with this procedure, we can start planning for the next one – hopefully a full lens replacement for the new cataract that has grown in his good eye since all this procedure stuff got under way last fall.

There’s always a light. 

CAREGIVER NOTE:
Our role as caregivers ended last evening at 7:12 pm MDT. He passed as he’d wished. At home and not alone. I’m very grateful we were able to fulfill that wish for him. Services are pending. It’s been an honor for our family to be his caregivers the last two and a half years. We miss him already!

POSITIVES:
He was ready to move on
He was able to rest more comfortably yesterday than he had the day and evening previous
Son #4 and I were with him when he took his last breath – he was not alone.

11.03.24

CAREGIVER NOTE:
He’s giving us a run for our money. He’s officially on hospice and isn’t willing to take his meds — spit them out, has been awake for a good portion of the night which means I have officially been awake for over 24 hours now. Not how I had hoped to spend my first night – nor did T. He has to help reposition and roll when when needed… and it was needed a lot last night. He’s taken off his brief again. His feet are dangling off the bed, again. And he won’t keep the oxygen on either. Not sure what the nurse will say this morning, but I hope she’s got an idea other than to keep trying…

It would be nice to get into a routine of sorts — but he might have other plans as he tries to assert himself and tries to do things he can’t.

POSITIVES:
The hospice contacts have been great
Family has given us a little bit of wiggle room to get settled.

Pause….

Pause.  Take a breath.  Find the good in the moment.

CAREGIVER NOTES:
They found some music for him to listen to yesterday. He even left the headphones on for a while and the oxygen in place while he listened. It was interesting to see him sleeping on his side in what I would call his most comfortable position when he was sleeping here at home. I hope that he’ll find even more comfort here at the house when we bring him home later today. He’ll be in hospice care. Yesterday was day 4 of refusing food and liquids. It doesn’t appear that he’ll change his mind and try to eat – he spit out the oral meds again yesterday, so we’re definitely moving into the comfort care stage as we follow the directives he’s left us.

POSITIVES:
He left the oxygen and music headphones in place
He responded to touch from everyone that visited yesterday (and I’m pretty sure he recognized who they were from their voices)

Every step counts.

CAREGIVER NOTES:
He’s basically stopped eating. He’s not impressed at all with the pureed diet he’s currently being given by the dietician. He spits everything out. He asked for toast and jam yesterday, but neither were offered or allowed until he can prove he can swallow successfully again.

We played music (Easy listening) yesterday for most of the day and he seemed to enjoy it and was calm for all but the last two hours I was at the center with him.

I talked with the Activity Director yesterday. He does recognize the value of music for those with dementia issues and they use is in the memory care unit.

As usual, he wasn’t into the Halloween vibe… He missed out on the Pre-school costume parade through the unit yesterday.

POSITIVES:
He was dressed and in a chair when I arrived
He showed determination – lots of it over the course of the day