CAREGIVER NOTE:
He so wants to clear the confusion — have things be the way they used to be. It’s so difficult at times listening to him trying to figure “it” out and put things to right in “his thinking.” Last night was another evening of revisiting something he was concerned about. Listening, providing information he asked for and being patient as he worked through things.
CAREGIVER NOTE:
More stories about his brother Jack. He really idolized him as a child and beyond. I think I need to go take a look at a couple of the binders we have and see if the one story he shared last night can be found in one of them. He talked about an article in a magazine that featured his brother. I’m pretty sure that there’s a copy of the article in there — his wife was a keeper of all things regarding family.
an oldie but goodie…..
CAREGIVER NOTE:
Another late night opportunity to listen last evening. He’d been in bed for a couple of hours, got up, dressed and came out just as I was getting ready to call it a night. He thought it was time for breakfast. He needed to talk and share his concerns and frustrations — he recognizes and shared that he gets confused more often then what he thinks is normal — that he has dementia and it scares him. He wants to do more, but isn’t sure what he can or should do. We talked about some things he’d like to do — and some things he assumed he couldn’t. It was fun to point out that he was already doing many of the things he wanted to do — and while there were a couple that probably weren’t safe for him to do at the moment with more than a foot of snow on the ground, we would certainly revisit a few of them when it gets warmer outside.
He reminded me of the experiences in the garden this past summer. And while he couldn’t physically do many of the things he used to do a few years back, he wants to be a part of the process again this spring and summer. We’re very happy to oblige and now with the deck, we can add a couple of box planters for some flowers he mentioned wanting to have.
By the time he was ready to go back to bed, there was a smile on his face and he seemed very content and knowing in that moment, things were okay and he was okay and safe.
(image credit: Brainyquotes.com)
it’s an “I can” sort of day.
CAREGIVER NOTE:
The holes in his memory are becoming much larger. It’s often quite difficult to watch and be a participant in those moments. Reframing just isn’t possible sometimes - and neither is trying to move around or beyond the moment that is causing such angst for him. At some point during the late hours he finally decided he couldn’t change it — all of the parties that were involved had died years ago and nothing can change the outcome. I’m grateful that he doesn’t explode or try to hurt himself or me when he can’t get the answer he’s looking for or the outcome he perceives he should have – like making a phone call to sort things out with a long deceased family member. It hurts both of us and I can see the emotions welling up as things become a little clearer as he works through it. He won’t remember what happened last night today, and we’ll likely revisit the same “problem” again today or tonight…. at least I know deep down, we can get through it and he’s got a safe place to do so.
…to small kindnesses.. be grateful for blessings big and small. You never khow what may blossom. Unknown
Greatitudes 