caregiver

There’s always a light. 

CAREGIVER NOTE:
Our role as caregivers ended last evening at 7:12 pm MDT. He passed as he’d wished. At home and not alone. I’m very grateful we were able to fulfill that wish for him. Services are pending. It’s been an honor for our family to be his caregivers the last two and a half years. We miss him already!

POSITIVES:
He was ready to move on
He was able to rest more comfortably yesterday than he had the day and evening previous
Son #4 and I were with him when he took his last breath – he was not alone.

11.03.24

CAREGIVER NOTE:
He’s giving us a run for our money. He’s officially on hospice and isn’t willing to take his meds — spit them out, has been awake for a good portion of the night which means I have officially been awake for over 24 hours now. Not how I had hoped to spend my first night – nor did T. He has to help reposition and roll when when needed… and it was needed a lot last night. He’s taken off his brief again. His feet are dangling off the bed, again. And he won’t keep the oxygen on either. Not sure what the nurse will say this morning, but I hope she’s got an idea other than to keep trying…

It would be nice to get into a routine of sorts — but he might have other plans as he tries to assert himself and tries to do things he can’t.

POSITIVES:
The hospice contacts have been great
Family has given us a little bit of wiggle room to get settled.

Pause….

Pause.  Take a breath.  Find the good in the moment.

CAREGIVER NOTES:
They found some music for him to listen to yesterday. He even left the headphones on for a while and the oxygen in place while he listened. It was interesting to see him sleeping on his side in what I would call his most comfortable position when he was sleeping here at home. I hope that he’ll find even more comfort here at the house when we bring him home later today. He’ll be in hospice care. Yesterday was day 4 of refusing food and liquids. It doesn’t appear that he’ll change his mind and try to eat – he spit out the oral meds again yesterday, so we’re definitely moving into the comfort care stage as we follow the directives he’s left us.

POSITIVES:
He left the oxygen and music headphones in place
He responded to touch from everyone that visited yesterday (and I’m pretty sure he recognized who they were from their voices)

Every step counts.

CAREGIVER NOTES:
He’s basically stopped eating. He’s not impressed at all with the pureed diet he’s currently being given by the dietician. He spits everything out. He asked for toast and jam yesterday, but neither were offered or allowed until he can prove he can swallow successfully again.

We played music (Easy listening) yesterday for most of the day and he seemed to enjoy it and was calm for all but the last two hours I was at the center with him.

I talked with the Activity Director yesterday. He does recognize the value of music for those with dementia issues and they use is in the memory care unit.

As usual, he wasn’t into the Halloween vibe… He missed out on the Pre-school costume parade through the unit yesterday.

POSITIVES:
He was dressed and in a chair when I arrived
He showed determination – lots of it over the course of the day

Treasure the memories

CAREGIVER NOTE:
I’m hoping today will be a good day, though he’s not too much into Halloween. He’s been going to OT and PT and speech. He wants to come home — at least that’s what he says. So I’ll take that as a measure of truth and we’ll look forward to that regardless of how well he’s doing or whether he’s walking or not at the end of 30 days. I’m hoping he’s made enough progress to maybe want to complete it through the 100 days, but I’m not holding my breath at the moment.

We do have his bedroom and bathroom ready again. Plans now are to rearrange the living room to make sure there’s plenty of room for the walker or chair to maneuver. We’ll start on that this evening when I get home from the rehab.

POSITIVES:
No phone calls with negative reports from the rehab
He was dressed, resting and calm when a grandson visited
We seem to be making some progress at multiple fronts with hopes of that continuing.

10.30.24

CAREGIVER NOTE:
He was dressed, alert, lucid and coherent and raring to go yesterday. He’s not eating or swallowing food right now. His diet was changed and we’ll see where things go from there. He’s pretty much asserting his desire to be independent – He still can’t put much weight on his left side, but hopefully, he’ll do the work with the therapists so he’ll have some independence when he does come home in a few weeks.

POSITIVES:
Briefly caught a glance of his sense of humor