Month: January 2024

Laugh a little today

an oldie but goodie…..

CAREGIVER NOTE:

Another late night opportunity to listen last evening. He’d been in bed for a couple of hours, got up, dressed and came out just as I was getting ready to call it a night. He thought it was time for breakfast. He needed to talk and share his concerns and frustrations — he recognizes and shared that he gets confused more often then what he thinks is normal — that he has dementia and it scares him. He wants to do more, but isn’t sure what he can or should do. We talked about some things he’d like to do — and some things he assumed he couldn’t. It was fun to point out that he was already doing many of the things he wanted to do — and while there were a couple that probably weren’t safe for him to do at the moment with more than a foot of snow on the ground, we would certainly revisit a few of them when it gets warmer outside.

He reminded me of the experiences in the garden this past summer. And while he couldn’t physically do many of the things he used to do a few years back, he wants to be a part of the process again this spring and summer. We’re very happy to oblige and now with the deck, we can add a couple of box planters for some flowers he mentioned wanting to have. 

By the time he was ready to go back to bed, there was a smile on his face and he seemed very content and knowing in that moment, things were okay and he was okay and safe. 

today is a fresh start…  

it’s an “I can” sort of day. 

CAREGIVER NOTE:

The holes in his memory are becoming much larger. It’s often quite difficult to watch and be a participant in those moments. Reframing just isn’t possible sometimes - and neither is trying to move around or beyond the moment that is causing such angst for him. At some point during the late hours he finally decided he couldn’t change it — all of the parties that were involved had died years ago and nothing can change the outcome. I’m grateful that he doesn’t explode or try to hurt himself or me when he can’t get the answer he’s looking for or the outcome he perceives he should have – like making a phone call to sort things out with a long deceased family member. It hurts both of us and I can see the emotions welling up as things become a little clearer as he works through it. He won’t remember what happened last night today, and we’ll likely revisit the same “problem” again today or tonight…. at least I know deep down, we can get through it and he’s got a safe place to do so. 

Where will your passion lead you?

CAREGIVER NOTES:
“Where are the keys?” ”Where are my car and truck?” ”Why are all those kids being so loud?” Just a few of the questions asked last night and there were a few more the night before — He was very confused, but at least he accepted the answers that were offered and he was able to relax a bit and go back to bed. This caregiver, however, is very tired this morning — Fingers crossed for a good day and better night. I think he senses the incoming change of weather as well.