Choose good friends and keep your family close.

CAREGIVER NOTE:
After consulting with his dr (again) we’ve decided to make another change to his nighttime meds. Fingers crossed this will help as he hasn’t had a full night’s uninterrupted sleep in quite a few nights now. The cycle hasn’t reverted back to a full night’s sleep. Fingers crossed the change will help and in a hurry. I’m grateful she called last night to discuss the meds issue — especially since it was her day off and she’d worked late the evening before. We’re REALLY going to miss her as she’s retiring at the end of the year… we’ll meet her replacement next month when he goes in for his appointment.

Yesterday he got pretty upset with himself after spilling his drink. Accidents happen and we never make a big deal over them. It’s generally, just an oops and let’s get that cleaned up and get back to the regular stuff. It took him nearly 30 minutes to get over the spill and causing what he called “trouble.” It really wasn’t a big deal and I got to thinking afterwards that maybe that was something he “was missing.” Maybe previously someone has made a big deal of a spill while he was in rehab…. and he wanted the “fireworks” that had come with it (lots of juicy connection and recognition – although not of the good kind). That just doesn’t happen here. It’s done and over with and the mess cleaned up and we move on to the next thing.

POSITIVES:
Zingers and there were a couple of good ones
conversations with family members about different current topics
Asked for help when it was needed

CAREGIVER NOTE:
Dr.’s virtual visit on the calendar today – regarding medications. It’s been 6 months since our last discussion and it’s time for a possible change in one of his meds as his dementia continues to deepen and other things pop up.

I do remember his first days with us and the huge differences between him and Mom just a couple of years ago. They were very challenging for all of us.

POSTIVES:
He shared some play time with the dog and was still mindful of the dog’s surgical site.
Lots of smiles and laughter during the day
Less anxiety than normal when he shared some details about a past incident with family

CAREGIVER NOTE:
We spent nearly an hour outside yesterday. It was so nice and he loved the watching the birds flying to and from the feeders, listening to the sounds in the air and watching the clouds move across the sky and behind the mountain to the east.

POSITIVES:
Laughter and smiles
Compassion for his dog
Expressions of thanks for the little things

CAREGIVER NOTE:

Back in time was the order of the day. A little messy since he felt he really needed to talk to his Uncle and explain why he couldn’t help at the farm and drive one of the teams and he wanted to talk to other members of his family – they’re all long gone. I felt so bad having to tell him that I didn’t have phone numbers for any of them. He realized how “alone” he was a little later and he shed a few tears. That has to be so hard! He asked again how old he was and asked why he was still here….

Positives of the day:
He popped off a few zingers
He didn’t stay in the “rabbit hole” of sadness for very long
He even suggested looking for something good that was going on in the day.

CAREGIVER NOTE:

He’s gone outside for 2 days in a row now. He took a bit of a walk yesterday, rather than just sit in a chair on the deck. He was pretty shaky by the time he got back onto the deck and wanted to come directly back into the house and veg in the cooler air of the house for a while.

He slept a little better last night — and was only up once. He’s been getting up a little earlier for the day and that’s been kind of nice. He was open to watching some Finding Your Roots – and watched 3 episodes last night. He seems to like that and we’re now finding ourselves at the end of the series, having watched all 10 seasons. It’s interesting he does remember lots of bits and pieces from some of the episodes — and he’s hoping we’ll find a link or possible window to find more information about his great grandfather. I think we’re hoping for that as well. So far, all the information we’ve been able to gather through the years still leaves us at a dead end in the 1860’s in Kentucky. We’re not able to go back any further on one of his lines.

Yesterday’s positives:
Genuine interest in what everyone was doing for the day
Enjoyed a few minutes outside in the sunshine
He thinks the dog likes veggies (she does not and definitely turns up a nose at all things green!) She would much prefer to have any meat he has on his plate and he generally takes a couple of bites before giving her the rest of his portion …. unless it happens to be ribs – which he won’t share with the dog.

CAREGIVER NOTE:

I was awakened to seeing the mattress being lifted and watching him take the safety rails off the bed last night. He couldn’t tell me why he was taking them off — but while doing so, he did break the railing locks on one side. I’ve ordered a new set of rails and they’ll be here tomorrow. OI! We had to remake the bed 2 times since I would just get things put back together and he would take them off again without telling me why he was doing it. He’s resting again now, but I worry about his safety getting up and staying on the bed at night. Another phase to work through.

On the plus side, earlier in the day he’d been so proud of himself…. he’s discovered he’d put his shoe on the wrong foot and was able to correct that without getting too distressed over it — and even prouder that he didn’t need to ask for help! (sometimes, it is the little things that need to be remembered).

CAREGIVER NOTE:

Patience…. he wanted to get a job yesterday.

He remained in pretty good spirits for the most part — even when he figured out it was probably best to leave it to the younger set for the time being. I’m sure this will be revisited again in a few days. Every “job” suggested here has been turned down with a flat “No.”