it’s an “I can” sort of day. 

CAREGIVER NOTE:

The holes in his memory are becoming much larger. It’s often quite difficult to watch and be a participant in those moments. Reframing just isn’t possible sometimes - and neither is trying to move around or beyond the moment that is causing such angst for him. At some point during the late hours he finally decided he couldn’t change it — all of the parties that were involved had died years ago and nothing can change the outcome. I’m grateful that he doesn’t explode or try to hurt himself or me when he can’t get the answer he’s looking for or the outcome he perceives he should have – like making a phone call to sort things out with a long deceased family member. It hurts both of us and I can see the emotions welling up as things become a little clearer as he works through it. He won’t remember what happened last night today, and we’ll likely revisit the same “problem” again today or tonight…. at least I know deep down, we can get through it and he’s got a safe place to do so. 

366 opportunities for fresh starts.

May you experience peace, joy and love not only today, but every day of the year.

it is the little things.

CAREGIVER NOTE:

We listened carefully last evening while he “crooned” to one of the babies that was a little fussy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the Army Anthem sung as a lullaby before! It was precious and a memory that will live long in our memories . He enjoyed being surrounded by family — once everyone had arrived and there was food ready to be eaten. We had an early Thanksgiving dinner with family and it was delightful.

CAREGIVER NOTE:

Another day of reflecting on family members who have passed on. We opened his book of genealogy to share some details with him after he asked for some specifics. Although he was sad to be reminded of their passing, he was filled with gratitude that we were willing to sit and listen while he tried to process things. Recent “dreams” have been pretty lucid and the confusion about who he was seeing and conversing with were very real to him and have made him uncomfortable at times when he realizes the moments were either long ago memories or had never happened… but to him they were very real and vivid.

For the first time ever, no anger was connected to this type of conversation — a brief moment of sadness and then ready to talk about other things and family memories from long ago.