As I’ve contemplated writing this — for a few weeks now, it’s been very difficult to watch the “declinings” that are now a part of Mom’s everyday life.
The month of May brought changes — Eating a simple meal now takes 60 minutes or so…. not because she’s savoring each bite, but because she’s forgetting what she’s supposed to do with that stuff that’s on the thing in her lap (she prefers to eat in her favorite chair). She’s become a little more compulsive with some other things and those tend to overwhelm and take over at the oddest of moments. Getting her handful of pills to her mouth is sometime lost and there’s that look of what’s the next step? But it is what it is. We give directions leaving her dignity in tact.
One thing I have decided to shift in my own thinking as a caregiver during this process. Imagine. We’re on a staircase and with each step, we can choose to go up or down. Despite the fact that Mom’s capacities are declining, that doesn’t mean we can’t take another step up and support her; encouraging, adapting and honoring all that is still there.
The other day, I read a short book to her. A book about Mothers. We read slowly, reliving memories from days long gone. Laughter, smiles and the “light” was back on, albeit too briefly… she’s still there — just on a different step than I was in that moment, but reaching out a hand to hold on as we move forward in this journey called Alzheimer’s understanding that she’s our guide. We’re all learning from her.
photo credit: greatitudes.com
“All things are possible to a believing heart.” – Flavia Weeden
One of the miracles in using Nurtured Heart Approach™ is that not only do our children and co-workers benefit from the use of the tools and techniques of Greatness, but we as adults are often the first to “flip and transform.” We can’t help it! Keep going! It’s a beautiful journey.
Take the next 60 seconds and honor yourself for the choices you’ve created and achieved so far today.
“Each life is like a letter of the alphabet. Alone it can be meaningless; or it can be a part of a great(er) meaning.” – Unknown
Something I have noticed over the years is that there is an increase in caring, concern and love between those who are directly influenced by the application of Nurtured Heart Approach™. You can’t help but have that happen because your heart is more in tune with what is going on and you see more through your heart – feel more – are more.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on
life… The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding
the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain
way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced tha…t life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.” Charles Swindoll
I may not be able to control certain things that happen day to day… others make choices I have no control over and whether or not I like it, their choices impact my life for good or bad — HOWEVER, I do have the choice in how I will let that moment energize me. I can choose to use the energy I could waste on “woe is me” to fuel me to new levels of greatness, finding and seeing the things that AREN’T going wrong in the moment. Where are those Greatness Goggles? What a great way to spend life thinking! I can’t think of a better way to look at or learn from those everyday moments. Fuel Up with a happy attitude — the cost is just the same but the dividends are even greater!